zomqqOsh . my bro and sis are going to sports sch now . i'm staying at home cuz i have tuition .. I DON'T GET TO SEE NATALIA . sob . stupid clare put these thoughts into my mind . a girl can dream right ! but then . the higher you are; the greater the fall . aka ... ONE DAY THE FACTS OF THE EARTH ARE GONNA COME CRASHING DOWN ON ME and i'll commit suicide . HAHAHAH . walao ! my bro and sis are going to sports sch . 5 days a week . GONE . gone ... GONE !!!! so i'm like an only child for a year . more or less luh . NATALIA !! i don't get to see natalia . ahh . he's so cute :\:\ sob . LOL . MRAWRRSS . so cute right ! omg my dp is so cute . msn dp . woohoo . SOOO CUTE . i can't stand it . kyaaaah . almost cuter than natalia .

MRAWRRR < NATALIA < PINK woOtehzOrz . mwakakaka . okay nothing else . darnit i have tuition . i'm UBER SICK . and guess when ~!! 31st Dec- 1st Jan . i hope i recover . nothing's more exciting than missing the first day of school . ;o;o note the sarcasm . I REFUSE TO CUT MY NAILS . they're so nice and long . darneeeet . ohwelluhmz . [: i'm gonna go emo or something . CUZ NATALIA WILL NEVER LIKE ME . NEVER . EVER . AND I CAN'T GET OVER HIM .

if i said it like i mean it;
then maybe i'd believe it like it's true
i'm getting over you

GONE !
michelle .

woo . he's messing with my mind . i'm in too deep . i can't get over him yet there's no other option but so . HEHH . why can't it be easier . at least a little . 2 years ! i'm freaking myself out . lalalala . but he's so cute HAHAHAHA . ok . i'm going to find depressing lyrics again .

it's a new year . i want to change . let this be a new beginning without an end

i will blog . at 12 midnight . for everyone's sake . and to distract me from killing myself . today is the 31st ! 12:09 am . sigh . i feel like a really bad bad bad christian . i haven't been to church in like a month . and i pray like every 2-3 days . sometimes once a day . I FEEL REALLY BAD . like God's always there for you and then you can't even spare 5 mins of your day for Him . i even forced myself to sleep until 9.40 so i could pon church . waaaah .. then when i woke up i washed up and went with my dad to buy breakfast for my bro, justin vincent and myself at the macs at serene centre . then bring to the bowling alley at rtc . everyone [ my bro, justin, vincent and chiew pang ] bowled like crap ! hahaha . okay i'm in no position to talk cuz i bowl like crap too . just that it's all the time, not exceptionally . SOB ! okay whatever . i don't train 6 times a week - tries to comfort myself - haha . school's starting ! wtf is a portfolio ? DEAD . i nidda do my sbc portfolio, sch homework, tuition homework, read my lit book . weeeee . soo dead .

it's never going to end . i've fallen in too deep . so what do i do now . just watch ? there's nothing i CAN do right . i'll just wish for his happiness . sigh . i'm crying again !! zomfgwtfbbq . ahh ..

tomorrow my bro's having a new-year's party . he's coming . i can't face him . nope . i'll hide in my room . when they're counting down to the new year, i'm gonna pray and at least try to redeem myself by spending time with Him . it's the least He deserves .

i realised you can't always have the one you love . but then again at least you've got great friends always there to keep you up on your feet . thanks gi and clare [: you guys are the best .

merry christmas to everyone !
happy new year [:

michelle